cYn,waT's gOinG oN..?

Last Thursday,, at 01.00am..
My ex-boyfriend assed away..
In the hospital,,
dun kno for sure the causes..
but what I kno is..He was suffered with diseases..
One day b4 he passed away, he told his father dat he saw someone he didn't kno before..
It might bethe sign
I wander where he go after that
I kno some ppl said dat this is the best way for him..
to end everything..
to have a new life..
but dun kno why..
I still feel a big lost..
What should I do???
I can't easily forget him
I can't easily let him go..
Anyone could tell me wat should I do?????
He's only 18 years old..
I'm 16 and a half..
We still young, n never happened sth like this before..

started on the beginning of this month, im preparing for the IGCSE examination which will be held on march n april or may (im not sure)
my school is preparing some students..
some of them come from singapore n their english r quite well
to be honest,im not as confident as them
im not really good at english n idk y my school chose me to join this test..
idk well about cambridge university too..
im so nervous waiting for the day..
In the mean time,
im still looking for an english course..
i graduated from EF (English First) almost 1 year ago >> it was my english course
i dont learn english now except from school
i just hope i can pass the exam..

This is my first blog so i think i'll write about myself..
I'm a 2nd grade of Senior High School student,,science student..
I'm a Christian..
I love English n arts(esp. music)
I come from Indonesia,exactly in East Java..
I broke up with my bf last Christmas,exactly on 25th of December (awful christmas)..
I love to make new friends n im trying to find my real identity..
lol
i just hope i could find many friends here.. ^^